Keeping Cool

I love kids and I really do. I loved kids from when I was a kid myself. I played, pampered, fed and took care of them…my cousin's kids in case you are wondering.

I normally don't loose my cool when handling Aarush and don't even mind him making the house messy or doesn't sleep all night or cries or throw a fit or wants me to hold him all day.
But after a long day at work, come home -cook, give him a bath and just when I am ready to feed him he refuses to eat or eats very less. I consider the options of  'this may not be his fav' or 'he may not be hungry' and prepare another meal or another time -nope he doesn't want it either. I distract him with random things and feed him, this works sometimes but now he's outgrown all the silly things I distract him with. And then my friends, I loose it and scream at him and poor guy puts this 'Papam' face twisting his mouth in that 'I am hurt and ready to cry' way and I try to keep that serious 'I am Angry at you' face but feel deeply sorry for what I've done. After which I decide not to worry about anything..he doesn't eat- he'll eat when hungry or he'll have milk or that fruit or this snack. This serene and patient phase goes on for some days and again on one of those 'bad/tired/my baby is so skinny days' I loose it again:( . Kiran insists on putting him in the high chair and make him realise 'high chair= eating food time' and I tried doing that just one day and I had to clean the carpet, the whole high chair full of split food. May be I should try this more often until he gets it. The one day I remember him eating to  my hearts content was when our community lawn mowers came in and doing their job, he was busy figuring out and I was busy/happy feeding him taking advantage of his new found entertainment. Wish I could call them everyday and night to mow the lawn;) His pediatrician says he's doing good and very active and tells me not to worry and he'll know when he's full. But I just can't get over " I want my baby to be fat & chubby"deal.

I so wanted to appreciate my cousin 'Padmaja' for her patience with little Nishanth. He is an absolute darling. Hez well ahead for his age and the only disppointing fact is he doesn't eat at all. He shuts his mouth so tight that  an ant can't get inside, She manages to feed him with never ending stories and fun things and doesn't mind even if that ordeal takes hours. I would freak out if I was her and god bless her patience and give me some.